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E-surance Commercials

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  • E-surance Commercials

    I hate almost every commercial known to man. There are a select few that kick ass, example: that commercial with a sock monkey being hardcore, getting mom stitched into his arm, going to Vegas, and picking up babes with his awesome-ness.

    BUT THE VERY WORST COMMERCIALS ARE ALWAYS FROM E-SURANCE.

    Prime example:

    Stupid pink-haired hussy walking in the middle of the road, blocking traffic, looking at a bunch of manual laborers doing their jobs. They depict these laborers as stupid people with stupid occupations being stupid all day everyday because evidently only stupid people do manual labor.

    So a construction worker is in the road trying to drill a hole... to do so he is slapping a BROOM on the ground. A broom. To help him out, E-surance Hussy with pink hair decides to give him a jack-hammer. WAY TO GO, JERK-OFF. Way to insult construction workers and give the guy a jack-hammer instead of a broom. THAT MAKES SENSE.

    She continues walking down the street telling the viewer how amazing e-surance is. She sees some dude painting a red wall-he is painting it tan... with a piece of spaghetti (or something equally stupid). She hands him a large brush to help him out. After being given the brush, the painter continues to paint the section of wall leaving huge spots of red all over the place (this guy is inept and randomly painting sections of wall about as incoherently as a 3 year old rubs feces on a toilet seat).

    LA DE LA, painters are stupid according to e-surance.

    Then the pink-haired-hussy sees some lady holding all of her groceries. The dumb lady evidently didn't use plastic bags at the store and decided to hold a gallon of milk, 3 cartons of eggs, a can of tuna, her 3 year old son, everything with just her hands. So here comes e-surance to save the day... they give the lady a RECYCLE FRIENDLY RE-USABLE GREEN BAG.

    Now, you could argue that e-surance isn't insinuating that manual laborers are stupid... but read that last paragraph again... they hand the dumb grocery lady a green bag with a recycle insignia on it... implying that they give a rat's ass about the environment...

    If you're going to insinuate love for the environment via a recycle bag... that ALSO MEANS that you are trying to insinuate that EVERYONE DOING PHYSICAL LABOR IS A RETARD. WAY TO GO, JERK-OFFS.


    That's not even the worst of it. I saw an E-surance commercial where the pink-haired-hussy SWITCHED some unsuspecting dude's insurance with E-surance. In order to do that you'd need to know:

    1) his name, date of birth, social security number
    2) banking information
    3) car model/license plate
    4) driving record
    5) etc.

    There is a crap-load wrong with having a list of this guy's most intimate details, but namely IT IS IDENTITY THEFT. That's a freakin' felony. You just admitting to committing felonies, you pieces of crap. SCREW YOU.

    Then the dude starts flipping out and the e-surance lady says "see, look how happy he is to be saving money" no harlot, he is freaking pissed off because you stole his identity.

    Now... what do either of these commercials have to do with e-surance (car insurance)? Not a goddamn thing. Also, they are cartoon characters. Whenever someone in an e-surance commercial switches from their old insurance to e-surance, they magically turn into a cartoon character. It's usually some fat, middle aged bald dude with glasses who turns into some hot-cartoon-stud with a full set of hair and is physically fit. YOU'RE FULL OF LIES AND DECEIT AND I HATE YOU.


    There is also a COX commercial that I have beef with, but most of you probably have no idea what COX cable is, so I will spare you the details.


    God, I hate commercials. I am going to write letters to these stupid bastards.
    Last edited by Mega-Douche; 03-04-2010, 09:52 PM.

  • #2
    Wow... advertising DOES work.

    "If you're dumb, surround yourself with smart people.
    And if you're smart, surround yourself with smart people who disagree with you"
    -Issac Jaffe

    Comment


    • #3
      oh stop thats just what america does shes always going to piss her own people off

      Comment


      • #4
        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rcdP8YAW-8A lets go watch this

        Comment


        • #5
          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XY8amUImEu0

          The "karate kid" commercial/trailer will piss you more off.
          1:02 - Jackie Chan: I will teach you real Kung Fu
          1:22 - Jackie Chan: Kung fu teaches...
          1:33 - Jackie Chan: Everything is Kung Fu

          WTF... karate kid?
          The one thing that is constant is change.

          Comment


          • #6
            AND A BLUE PHOOOOONNNNNNEEEEE

            Sorry, The World's Greatest Spokesperson in the World makes me laugh.

            Comment


            • #7
              Me thinks you are letting the little cartoon character get to you just a wee bit much.

              And um....why is she a 'hussy'?



              *~Team Purple ~ Proud Member of AARM~*

              Comment


              • #8
                This also reminds me of the the commercial with the giant robot harvesting lumber, and she shoot the robot with a dart to stop him, and some how this not only pierces the robots metal hull, but incapacitates him. Thanks esurance ***** now we have to send people to risk there lives to harvest wood, so we can build you a damn home. Now lets get back to demonizing lumbering, oil is next cause we don't need that stuff at all!

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by The Ed View Post
                  This also reminds me of the the commercial with the giant robot harvesting lumber, and she shoot the robot with a dart to stop him, and some how this not only pierces the robots metal hull, but incapacitates him. Thanks esurance ***** now we have to send people to risk there lives to harvest wood, so we can build you a damn home. Now lets get back to demonizing lumbering, oil is next cause we don't need that stuff at all!
                  Are you kidding me? That robot was taking away jobs from hard working lumberjacks. Thanks to the e-surance chick we now have more lumberjacks working, and less of them dressing in womens clothing and hanging around in bars. And that's okay.

                  "If you're dumb, surround yourself with smart people.
                  And if you're smart, surround yourself with smart people who disagree with you"
                  -Issac Jaffe

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by odysseuspike View Post
                    oh stop thats just what america does shes always going to piss her own people off
                    America isn't the only country with crappy commercials.


                    Originally posted by Jstar View Post
                    Me thinks you are letting the little cartoon character get to you just a wee bit much.

                    And um....why is she a 'hussy'?

                    Google "e-surance" and look at google images. Even with moderate SafeSearch, you'll see how much of a hussy she is. Take SafeSearch off entirely and you'll see some CRAZY stuff. CRAAAAZY.

                    You might say "hey, that's just an artisan's rendition of the e-surance girl bound and gagged/naked"

                    Dude, she is a cartoon. That means every artist rendition of her IS HER. SHE IS A HUSSY BY ASSOCIATION. HUSSY.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Mega-Douche View Post
                      Google "e-surance" and look at google images. Even with moderate SafeSearch, you'll see how much of a hussy she is. Take SafeSearch off entirely and you'll see some CRAZY stuff. CRAAAAZY.

                      You might say "hey, that's just an artisan's rendition of the e-surance girl bound and gagged/naked"

                      Dude, she is a cartoon. That means every artist rendition of her IS HER. SHE IS A HUSSY BY ASSOCIATION. HUSSY.
                      So by that argument every female cartoon character is a hussy. Since there are always people that will make some sort of twist on their favorite character.
                      The one thing that is constant is change.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Jaraxxis View Post
                        So by that argument every female cartoon character is a hussy. Since there are always people that will make some sort of twist on their favorite character.
                        Exactly. But not every female cartoon character is in ****ty commercials, and that's why I hate her.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Jaraxxis View Post
                          So by that argument every female cartoon character is a hussy. Since there are always people that will make some sort of twist on their favorite character.
                          That's just basic Rule 34.

                          "If you're dumb, surround yourself with smart people.
                          And if you're smart, surround yourself with smart people who disagree with you"
                          -Issac Jaffe

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by waxlion View Post
                            That's just basic Rule 34.
                            Rule 34 states EVERYTHING is a hussy :P
                            The one thing that is constant is change.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I also hate "the marriage ref"

                              The show isn't even funny. It's just a few celebrities trying to be funnier than each other which eventually leads to "the expert panel" screaming over each other.

                              I watched the Tina Fey/Eva Longeria episode and was left wondering if celebrities should all be registered as mental handicaps. They voted almost the exact opposite way any logical person would have, and the reasoning behind their votes was about as coherent as a 3 year old smearing feces on a toilet seat.

                              Tina Fey: "HEY LEAVE THE OUTSIDE OF THE HOUSE ALONE"
                              Eva Longeria: "TRUST ME I'M MEXICAN, I KNOW DARK. HAHAHAHA... HUH?"
                              Jerry Seinfeild: "AND WHAT'S WITH PILOTS UNIFORMS? ARE THEY BLUE, ARE THEY NAVY, EXACTLY WHAT COLOR ARE THEY?"
                              Eva Longeria: "WOMEN ARE ALWAYS RIGHT"

                              Comment

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