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View Full Version : I have a pretty awesomeface wife.



Kisaoda
03-08-2010, 06:19 PM
So, a week from now, I'll be picking up God of War 3 brand new, which with me, NEVER HAPPENS. I always get used games, usually because it's never worth forking over $60 for a new game. But, for GOW3, it is.

That said, there was a condition. (Isn't there always?)

She wanted me to get for her...

Final Fantasy XIII

Which I get for her tomorrow.

God, I love my wife.

The Lord of the Files
03-08-2010, 06:24 PM
Awesomeface is right. She gets a +1 for cool.

Mega-Douche
03-08-2010, 06:27 PM
My girlfriend hates it when I play video games. She'd rather take me clothing shopping with her. Her favorite stores don't have anywhere for me to sit down in, so I have to stand outside of the dressing room twiddling my thumbs. Good times.

Your wife got a sister?

Kisaoda
03-08-2010, 06:29 PM
Your wife got a sister?

Alas, no, MD. You know I'd hook you up if she did.

Mega-Douche
03-08-2010, 06:34 PM
Alas, no, MD. You know I'd hook you up if she did.

Thanks bro. Since you can't do that for me, I need you to call a list of stores and have them set up a seating area for me.

...the more I think about it, the more I wonder if calling the stores and requesting seats might be a good idea. What was once a cynical joke is slowly turning into a reality for me... the future seems brighter every cynical remark that I make...

I was considering buying a collapsible chair to carry around with me.

Caitir Eavan
03-08-2010, 06:39 PM
Thanks bro. Since you can't do that for me, I need you to call a list of stores and have them set up a seating area for me.

...the more I think about it, the more I wonder if calling the stores and requesting seats might be a good idea. What was once a cynical joke is slowly turning into a reality for me... the future seems brighter every cynical remark that I make...

I was considering buying a collapsible chair to carry around with me.

You should get yourself a tiny little camping chair... we've got some 3-legged chairs with a bit of cloth to sit on. Not heavy, easy to take with you... though it might look strange in a clothes shop.
If she takes too long trying on clothes, you could always leave the shop, look at one you like, and come back 20 minutes later and she wouldn't notice *lol*

JinnTolser
03-08-2010, 06:48 PM
Thanks bro. Since you can't do that for me, I need you to call a list of stores and have them set up a seating area for me.

...the more I think about it, the more I wonder if calling the stores and requesting seats might be a good idea. What was once a cynical joke is slowly turning into a reality for me... the future seems brighter every cynical remark that I make...

I was considering buying a collapsible chair to carry around with me.

Actually those are both really good ideas. You definitely should start suggesting that to the stores when your girlfriend brings you in there, and in the meantime getting one of those small chairs like Caitir was talking about is probably a good idea as well.

smokeytripod
03-08-2010, 07:08 PM
just carry a small chair with u :L... or do what i do when my woman takes me clothes shopping and theres nowhere to sit just sit on the floor :L... or if theres a decent shop go there n wait for her to call or text asking where uve gone xD

Death of Rats
03-08-2010, 07:23 PM
Forget carrying around a tiny collapsing chair. Carry in a full size non-collapsible chair (like a nice padded dining chair). She'll stop asking you to come with her soon enough.

The Lord of the Files
03-08-2010, 07:28 PM
I was considering buying a collapsible chair to carry around with me.

Alternatively, you could get a collapsible girlfriend to carry around with you.

Mega-Douche
03-08-2010, 08:20 PM
Forget carrying around a tiny collapsing chair. Carry in a full size non-collapsible chair (like a nice padded dining chair). She'll stop asking you to come with her soon enough.

Yes... YESSSS. This is the answer I was looking for.

Lena Gkika
03-08-2010, 08:34 PM
Yes... YESSSS. This is the answer I was looking for.

you could also start making good comments about other girls that shop around there :P bonus if you start talking to them or handing out telephone numbers :D you might end up single, but you ll definitely not have to go shopping again

MajorTomSawyer
03-08-2010, 08:37 PM
So, a week from now, I'll be picking up God of War 3 brand new, which with me, NEVER HAPPENS. I always get used games, usually because it's never worth forking over $60 for a new game. But, for GOW3, it is.

That said, there was a condition. (Isn't there always?)

She wanted me to get for her...

Final Fantasy XIII

Which I get for her tomorrow.

God, I love my wife.

She sounds awesome!

Mine and I like a very limited number of things the same, sadly.

I will say she is the best Table-Top game master I have ever played with, so that is my geek-reward I guess.


Alternatively, you could get a collapsible girlfriend to carry around with you.

http://bride.ru/

leppykahn
03-08-2010, 09:13 PM
My girlfriend hates it when I play video games. She'd rather take me clothing shopping with her. Her favorite stores don't have anywhere for me to sit down in, so I have to stand outside of the dressing room twiddling my thumbs. Good times.

Your wife got a sister?

Uh, telling her you aren't going clothing shopping with her is still the best option.

Mega-Douche
03-08-2010, 09:35 PM
Uh, telling her you aren't going clothing shopping with her is still the best option.

Uh, okay. Uh, I'll try that. Uh, and then I'll tell her that I'm, uh, going to, uh, wear underwear on the outside of my, uh, pants from now on. Uh, then I might, uh, tell her, uh, that she is going to shut up and, uh, make me a sandwich.

Death of Rats
03-08-2010, 09:59 PM
Uh, okay. Uh, I'll try that. Uh, and then I'll tell her that I'm, uh, going to, uh, wear underwear on the outside of my, uh, pants from now on. Uh, then I might, uh, tell her, uh, that she is going to shut up and, uh, make me a sandwich.

If you do start wearing your underpants on the outside, she might stop inviting you shopping as well.

smokeytripod
03-08-2010, 10:00 PM
Uh, then I might, uh, tell her, uh, that she is going to shut up and, uh, make me a sandwich.

ill pay u moneyz if u say this to her? have some of my mighty english money :L

Mega-Douche
03-08-2010, 11:37 PM
ill pay u moneyz if u say this to her? have some of my mighty english money :L

Done and done. I'll video tape it. Paypal okay with you?

Abysmal Alan
03-09-2010, 12:24 AM
M-D: Get an inflatable beer-holder chair, with the insignia of the rival NFL team to whatever city you're in, an electric air-pump (the clothing stores always have outlets nearby), a 6 pack of fave brew, and a handful of old Hustler magazines. Sure to offend any female or helplessly-trapped male. Then tell your lady love, "Take allllllll the time you need..."

Thankfully, my wife is awesome-goddess as well, having bought me a Highland Glenmorangie Quinta Ruban single-malt scotch, Oblivion+Shivering Isles on shopping trips, and sends me out for shopping trips to buy Xbox 360 games we can play together. Great things happen when you marry one of your playtesters.

wyer
03-09-2010, 12:38 AM
Thanks bro. Since you can't do that for me, I need you to call a list of stores and have them set up a seating area for me.

...the more I think about it, the more I wonder if calling the stores and requesting seats might be a good idea. What was once a cynical joke is slowly turning into a reality for me... the future seems brighter every cynical remark that I make...

I was considering buying a collapsible chair to carry around with me.

I have a small folding stool I sometimes carry with me to home health patients house because in some of those houses I don't want to sit on the couch...know what I mean?

They also have stools that fold up to look like a cane. You could frost your hair at the temples, put on some wire rims, put a pillow in your shirt to look like hump in your back and go in with your folding cane stool, unfold it, try to sit on it and fall in the floor. Then tell them they are not disabled friendly and you are going to call the NAACP on them. (The young clerks in the sore won't know the difference between NAACP and NOD, and NAACP has more letters so sounds more important.)

I think if you do this in each of the stores she frequents, it will get you a sitting place, or embarrass your girl friend enough she won't take you with her anymore.

Crashmaker
03-09-2010, 04:52 AM
when i go shopping with my wife, we only buy clothes for me.

She can buy clothes for herself with her mother!

No time for this ****, i could only tell her how much it turns me on - she don´t likes that comments that much^^ She thinks i always want sex after shopping for her. thats wrong, i would want that either way^^

leppykahn
03-09-2010, 07:49 AM
Uh, okay. Uh, I'll try that. Uh, and then I'll tell her that I'm, uh, going to, uh, wear underwear on the outside of my, uh, pants from now on. Uh, then I might, uh, tell her, uh, that she is going to shut up and, uh, make me a sandwich.

You may have to ask for her to return the testicles from her purse first :D.

solkyro
03-09-2010, 08:23 AM
Alternatively, you could get a collapsible girlfriend to carry around with you.

that is so wrong in so many areas :rolleyes:

Adara
03-09-2010, 10:13 AM
I wonder if calling the stores and requesting seats might be a good idea. What was once a cynical joke is slowly turning into a reality for me... the future seems brighter every cynical remark and You definitely should start suggesting that to the stores when your girlfriend brings you in there.

Mega-Douche
03-09-2010, 06:21 PM
You may have to ask for her to return the testicles from her purse first :D.

It seems you're a well-versed scholar at maintaining a woman's happiness without being emasculated. Please share your secrets with me.

cdoubleu
03-09-2010, 06:27 PM
Alas, no, MD. You know I'd hook you up if she did.

LOL...I could see it now.."Honey, I have someone I'd like your sister to meet."

"Really? What's he like?"

"Well, he's a Mega-Douche, if that's what you're asking."

"Oooohhh, he sounds perfect!":):):)

Mist
03-09-2010, 06:39 PM
I recommend this approach which I actually used on a certain dress shopping occasion.

portable camping chair + wall + sunglasses = a nice nap.

The key here is get an attendant to help give you fair warning for when she wants your opinion and to use your cellphone camera for a reference to the dresses you're supposed to remember seeing.

leppykahn
03-17-2010, 11:10 AM
It seems you're a well-versed scholar at maintaining a woman's happiness without being emasculated. Please share your secrets with me.

The types of females I prefer generally aren't interested in emasculation.

But, in the rare case, I end up with an interest in a boundary tester or a "spend every moment together" type, I've done well with choosing specific boundaries, and never swaying on them.

Who can say for sure with your girlfriend... women are very different and you know her better than I do with a stereotype. Probably the best thing is to get to the bottom of why she wants you to join her shopping... and remove the need for that to occur. If she wants to reaffirm your attraction for her, by trying stuff on, make generalizations about her lovely beauty and fantastic fashion sense. If she wants you to pay for her clothes, find a new one with a good job ;).

I'm sure there are other motivations that I wouldn't be able to come up without knowing someone, but I find there are often mutually amenable agreements made if you really hate to do something with her.

Commander-Tidus
03-17-2010, 05:57 PM
Cool man! LOL, I wish I had a girlfriend in the first place, and one who'd buy me a ps3 AND Final Fantasy XIII! =)

Mega-Douche
03-17-2010, 09:15 PM
The types of females I prefer generally aren't interested in emasculation.

But, in the rare case, I end up with an interest in a boundary tester or a "spend every moment together" type, I've done well with choosing specific boundaries, and never swaying on them.

Who can say for sure with your girlfriend... women are very different and you know her better than I do with a stereotype. Probably the best thing is to get to the bottom of why she wants you to join her shopping... and remove the need for that to occur. If she wants to reaffirm your attraction for her, by trying stuff on, make generalizations about her lovely beauty and fantastic fashion sense. If she wants you to pay for her clothes, find a new one with a good job ;).

I'm sure there are other motivations that I wouldn't be able to come up without knowing someone, but I find there are often mutually amenable agreements made if you really hate to do something with her.



You've taken a common, humorous remark from a man in a long-term relationship and turned it into some sort of analytical, psychological discussion. Bravo. You're analysis is missing only a few key elements:

1) In a serious relationship, women change (especially when you move in with them). That's right. Once you take the step from casual relationship with non-stop blow jobs and sex, the woman actually develops a mind and opinion of her own. Welcome to crazy-world. This means when said woman says "you should wear black pants with that shirt" guess what? You're probably going to wear black pants with that shirt. This leads to the next element...


2) Your definition of masculine isn't universal. While many men might say that I lost my testicles long ago, the truth is that walking around with my girl at the mall shopping for clothing is very masculine. One might even debate that a "real man" should have the threshold to withstand a few hours of shopping. The gauntlet starts with her asking what matches and if an outfit makes her look fat. The situation further develops when dressing rooms have no seating and boredom when it sets in.

Of course, there are always alternative options such as going to GameStop, Dave and Busters, waiting in the car, but you withstand the pain and agony because you know it means a lot to your significant other, plus you get a boner on occasion seeing her in tight-fit clothing.

3) You (for some reason) think that every aspect of my life is planned out by my girl. I still play video games, type on forums, casually read, play basketball, go to gun ranges, play paint ball, chill at the beach, party on occasion, go to work, go to school, etc. despite the fact that I go clothing shopping with my girlfriend. My hobbies and my girlfriend’s hobbies are not mutually exclusive. Funny how that works.

4) You didn't realize that I was sarcastically asking for your advice. There couldn't possibly be any advice that you could present to me to resolve my situation (namely because I was joking). You must honestly believe that I have no cognitive capacity. I could easily tell my girlfriend "I don't feel like shopping. Can we just have sex today?" The reason why you derived at such a conclusion is understandable: you saw a guy complaining about women, didn't understand the comical connotations, and felt the desire to debase. I would have done the same thing; it's masculine to belittle men for emotionally appeasing women. Of course, this leads me to a conclusion as well: you have never been in a serious long-term relationship.

Until you gain the ability to meet one of the few demands a woman might make, you will never mature enough to sustain a relationship. That’s right: thinking of people other than yourself is part of mental growth as well as being part of a well-founded relationship. Who would have thunk it?

But then… I’m sure any woman would LOVE to settle down with a man who does whatever he wants, whenever he wants. I mean, what’s so bad about peeing off of a bridge onto the freeway? Isn’t it masculine to call women *****es and hos? Why wouldn’t a woman want a man who isn’t monogamous? Pizza for dinner every night! Why would anyone want $90K a year when $30K gets you basic necessities? The list goes on.

Have fun with your floozies though. I remember my care-free years of not-giving-a-****. Growing up sucks sometimes.

Kizer
03-18-2010, 06:16 AM
In semi reply to the above.

I got lucky in the GF department. I have a fiercely independent and brutally honest sarcastic personality, and she puts up with me. I can't ask for more. She learned a long time ago that rhetorical questions are always answered, and that at any given moment she should be ready for the truth.

"Does this dress make me look fat?"
- "No hon, it was the two giant bag of tostitos you finished off last night instead of the brocolli and turkey breast I made"

"If I died how long would it take you to find someone else?"
- "As quickly as possible"

"Do you REALLY love me?"
- "Trick question. No answer"

It may sound cruel, but it's a personal mechanism I use to ensure that the person I'm dating is strong willed, independent, and willing to put up with me. Women who aren't able to take these answers (or continually ask them constantly) never were a good match for my personality.

This isn't to say I'm a a-hole. My GF dishes it out better than she takes it, and she knows that cliche insecurity questions are useless. But when it really matters, or its a personal issue I know is sensitive to her, I'm always kind and reassuring.

I'm not sure if I've been demasculated or not. But I do know that when I wake up in the morning, my coffee is always ready, but I'm the one that makes the breakfast

jenniferluce
04-06-2015, 12:16 PM
I think its your fault ...Your wife is happy with you. its your responsibility